


Hair Gel and Soft Touches

by immortalbanner



Category: South Park
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Metrosexual phase, Pre-Relationship, baby gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 22:52:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16649392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalbanner/pseuds/immortalbanner
Summary: In the midst of a viewing of Queer as Folk, Craig can't help but comment on how terrible the actors kissed.





	Hair Gel and Soft Touches

**Author's Note:**

> I should be working on my novel length Creek draft but I wanted to write out this headcanon. 
> 
> Also, disclaimer: this is intended to be set during 2003 since that was when South Park is Gay aired, so I included queer pop culture from then. I also included a Queer As Folk reference but I've only seen some episodes in like 2014 so bear with me.

Tweek didn’t have any hair-gel of his own, so he always ended up going to Craig’s to use his. 

To help fit in with the metrosexual craze, Craig had been helping Tweek with his hair. It was too wild to do on his own, and even with the gel it didn’t stay down. But Craig had offered to help when he gave him his jacket. The only issue was that it took far too long when it was all washed out. Craig was actually a pretty good help though. 

It had been Craig’s idea to group together with Jason and Token. He’d appointed himself as the leader, which he always kind of did. Tweek didn’t mind, he was more of a follower than a leader anyway. He liked hanging out with Craig and would look for any reason to. That morning’s excuse was Craig doing his hair while they watched Queer as Folk. They’d come across it while Craig was looking for more gay things to watch in efforts to be the ‘gayest’ kids in school. Gayest in quotes because… well, they weren’t gay. Metrosexual was more accurate. But Tweek did find himself really enjoying it all. 

Marathoning Queer as Folk was probably his favourite part. He and Craig always did it together. The show had become their best kept secret, keeping it from Stan and those assholes so they could continue to be gayer than them. They’d told Token and Jason about it but they’d awkwardly laughed and told them that it was was little too gay. So that lead to him and Craig being the only ones watching it. 

Craig had a small TV set up in his room and a VCR with rented tapes stacked on top of it. The show was still running and was on past their bedtimes so watching the tapes was their only option right now. 

They were meant to go to the mall with Token and Jason in about two hours. Craig was behind Tweek with a comb and gel while they both watched the TV. Tweek could feel his knees against his back, the closeness apparent. He kind of liked it, especially the softness of his touch. He could just picture him concentrating with his tongue poked out. He always did that when he was hyper focussed on something. Tweek had noticed it during class one time, now he always noticed it. 

“How do you cope with your hair?” Craig laughed, one hand on his shoulder as he comb through his hair. 

He let out a small laugh. “I don’t,” he said. “That’s why it’s always a mess.”

“Well, when I’m done you’re gonna look super gay.”

He smiled, leaning back against Craig’s chest. He kept his eyes on the TV, blushing a little as things got kind of sexual. When they’d watched the first episode they were slightly taken aback by how… well, gay it was. They’d both known it was gay but not exactly that gay. 

But they couldn’t stop watching. They kept watching, deciding to keep something of that level of gayness away from their parents too. Tweek always felt his heart race and his stomach go into knots when he’d see the male characters kiss but not only could he not look away, he didn’t want to. The more sexual things were things he did, mostly from sheer embarrassment but he’d peak through his fingers as Craig would stare, eyes fixed on the TV. 

The scene they were watching was only mild, with pretty heavy kissing. The knots in his stomach were obvious, and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He wasn’t ever sure how to process what he’d see. Him and Craig never talked about the show outside of his room. It was just, well, so gay. So, so gay. But he loved watching it. He just wouldn’t let anyone know. 

After Token and Jason had told them the show was ‘too gay’ he hadn’t felt comfortable with others knowing they watched it. Sure, Craig’s view was that it was so gay they should keep it to themselves to be that much gayer, but maybe it was a little too gay for their classmates to know they watched it. 

“He looks like he’s eating his face,” Craig laughed, flattening down Tweek’s hair. 

He let out a snort. “He kinda does.” Tweek hadn’t had his first kiss yet, but he couldn’t see himself kissing someone like that. How did that even feel nice at all? Wasn’t kiss meant to be fun? The kissing he was seeing didn’t look like it. 

“I mean, I’m no expert on kissing but I’m pretty sure that’s not how you do it,” Craig went on. 

“’No expert’?” Tweek echoed. “Have you ever even kissed a girl?”

“No,” Craig said, and moved to sit next to him. “Done.” He pushed some of the gel hair that had failed into his face, his fingers gently brushing against his forehead. Tweek felt himself blush even more but he pinned it to the fact that the scene had gotten more intimate. 

“I thought you had?” Tweek frowned. 

He shrugged. “You’re thinking Clyde, he’s the one all over girls all the time.”

That he knew, but for some reason he had just assumed Craig had also been all over girls. Actually, he couldn’t think of any instance he’d had a girlfriend for more than a day. Most of the time before the final bell for school rang. Not really enough time to get to kissing. It was like he just quickly got bored of them. 

“I still could probably kiss better than that,” he said. 

“Really huh?” Tweek asked, raising his brow at him.

He nodded. “Yeah, I could kiss you right now and it’d be better than this.” 

Okay, Craig was definitely making his heart race now. “That’s gay.”

He shrugged. “I guess,” he said. “Though I am trying to prove to Stan and those dicks that we’re way gayer than them.” 

That’s what he’d been trying to prove for days. That their group was the gayest in the school. 

“So what? Kissing a guy would make you gayer?” Tweek asked, frowning. Because from what he’d been told about this whole metrosexual thing, they were just incredibly gay straight people. Gay in every sense that Queer Eye For the Straight Guy showed, just without the actually… being gay part. 

“I’m just saying it’d probably be able to kiss someone better than them,” he mumbled, pointing to the TV like he’d just realised what he’d said sounded like. His cheek were kind of pink. Tweek wasn’t sure how to even respond. 

“Forget I said anything,” Craig said, chewing his lip. His eyes were fixed off the TV and on Stripe’s cage instead. 

Tweek watched him, still unsure how to respond or what to even make of the situation. Did Craig want to kiss him to prove he was gayer than all the other guys or was he just talking without thinking? 

“Hey, if you wanted to kiss me just to prove how gay you are then you just had to ask.” It was meant to be a joke but he wasn’t sure if much humour was in his tone. Because that would make him question if he wanted Craig to kiss him and that was something he didn’t want to think about right now. 

“Well, in that case all you have to do was say yes,” Craig replied, looking at him again. “That’d be pretty gay.” 

“Yep.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, like they were waiting for the other to back down because this was kind of a stupid idea. Tweek didn’t see himself telling people who and Craig kissed because they were that metrosexual. But it was too late to say anything had he had this intense want to kiss Craig. He wasn’t sure if it was something new or if it had been simmering inside of him for a while. 

“Okay then,” Craig said and leaned forward hesitantly. Tweek closed his eyes, not moving as, for maybe a quarter of a second, Craig pressed his lips against his own. 

Tweek opened his eyes and Craig was staring at him, like he’d only just realised what he did. Or what he did might mean at least. Tweek wondered it too but he concluded it could be dealt with on another day. 

“Well,” Tweek said. “You didn’t eat my face for sure.”

Craig slowly nodded. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “How about we keep this between us, okay?”

He nodded. There weren’t going to be any bragging rights out of this. It would just be left as a weird moment between them they will definitely never talk about again.

“What is a catamite anyway?”

“I have no idea.”


End file.
